Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize