hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
