Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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