Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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