I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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