My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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