NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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