just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
