The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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