we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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