Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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