How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
