ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
everyone is single if you try hard enough
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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