More tranny stories later!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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