oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize