So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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