Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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