If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!