I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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