Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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