I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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