I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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