i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
