do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
