"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
