just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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