You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
