can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
