Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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