someone get that fucking seahorse.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
