He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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