How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
