I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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