Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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