Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
