I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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