my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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