**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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