Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
