When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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