My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
