im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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