All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
only you would photoshop your dick
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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