So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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