best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
