no. you can't hotbox the world.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
