Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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