ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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