can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
