Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She said her name was "party"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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