i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
