i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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