god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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