You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
God, I missed his penis.
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