We're facebook friends in real life
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
